Bullying Resources: prevent and identify

     It seems like I'm seeing more and more in the news about children being bullied. It's not that bullying is a new thing; it's probably been around since the beginning of man. However, the tools and techniques have evolved. When we were kids, there was name calling on the playground and a few scuffles here and there. You would go home and your mom would find out and call the other kid's parents and probably make that kid hate your guts even more. For the most part, though, the kid would move on to some other poor soul who wore the wrong clothes or looked a little different. Now, it seems as though it's a hunt for kids. They find their target and lock on until the person being bullied pretty much gives up on life. Kids in elementary school are being full-on harassed by their peers. This is different than the old run of the mill bullying. They are relentless! It doesn't go away when the children get home, either.
     Texts and emails are new tools being used to hurt victims. Social media sites are mediums for word wars and attacks. These are relatively new issues that we, as adults, have to find a way to stop. The bright side is that awareness has gone up on the issue. The sad part is it took too many children to suffer the consequences to get where we are and we still haven't found a great cure-all.
     I recently read about an 11 year old boy who tried suicide because he was bullied for liking a popular tv show that is seen more as a girl's television show. This is a travesty. We try to teach our children or grandchildren to be themselves and that it's ok to have different interests than your peers, but then when they get to school, they are harassed to the point of, in this case, almost no return.
     I understand that kids can be sneaky and that you can't watch them 100% of their lives, BUT I have to wonder what we can do better. Obviously, children are not being taught at a young enough age that bullying hurts people. Maybe they don't know what "bullying" looks like. Teach children not to judge people by the way they look or the things they like. Teach your children not to make fun of someone because of their IQ or the way they speak. The best way to teach a child is through example. When you are laughing at someone because of who they are, your child is watching ... and learning. If you are a bully, your child will probably be a bully too. It's getting pretty tough for kids out there and that's a scary thing to think about.
    There are steps you can take to prevent your child from being a bully and there are steps you can take to identify if your child is being bullied. I have some links for you to check out. I'm not responsible for the content of these websites. I cannot give you legal advice, but I hope they are helpful.
Stopbullying.gov
Bullyfree.com
Violencepreventionworks.org
And www.preventchildabuse.org



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Busy moms with great marriages.

     I've recently heard some statistics that say most women put their children before their partner and married women who have children are happiest, while married men with children are least happy. Could it be that women are too focused on children and are ignoring their mate? Are these group of men least happy because the children are getting all the attention?
     Let's look at the life of the average American mom as she lives today. A lot of moms are in the workforce, so they wake up, get the kids ready, see them off to school or drop them off at daycare, go to work, pick kids up, run them around to extra-curricular activities, maybe go to the gym, go home and cook/clean, and then go to bed. Dad kind of just gets crammed in wherever there is time. I can see why there is such a strain on the average relationship.
     The question is how to lessen the strain. Sharing responsibilities is huge. If hubby wants to spend more time together, he will understand that he has to help out where he can. We also have to limit activities; it's great to be involved and also have the kids involved, but there has to be family time and there has to be time put aside for your significant other. If you feel like you can't really give anything up yet, then schedule time in. Put it on the calendar. Every Tuesday is family night. Make a date night twice a month or once a week. As silly as it sounds, it's even sillier to forget about each other and let the fire slip away.
     Listen to each other. You can learn a lot about what the other is feeling by shutting your mouth and listening to theirs. Sometimes we're too busy to actually hear how the other is feeling. If hubby is unhappy, you can usually tell by what he's saying - even if what he's saying isn't, "I'm unhappy". And if he has a busy schedule like you, he probably has things to get off his chest. Ask him how his day was. Send a text at lunch wishing him a great day. Even better, meet up for lunch when you can! These are easy things that sometimes slip by us. You don't have to join a key party to keep each other happy. Usually it's the little things that make the difference. Compliments aren't just for us, ladies. Let him know he looks foxy in those new blue jeans. Above all else, remember to tell him you love him.
     Do you have great ideas for keeping dad happy? Leave a comment!

 



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Valentine's day activities and treats

    

     February 14th is either a day you look forward to in excitement or just another day to you. If you are one of the people who look forward to it in excitement and are looking for some fun, festive ideas, I've found some for you! If you are of the latter group of people, well, this won't be your favorite post. You might find some yummy treats to make anyways!
     You might have a child in school or maybe you just want to take some treats in to your coworkers. Chocolate covered strawberries are always a big hit, but can get expensive and overplayed. Another fun idea is ice cream cone cupcakes with some festive icing. It's easy and fairly mess free when eating. They even have new trays you can put them in now for easier transport! (Which would have been nice when I was a kid getting them to school for birthday celebrations!). Allrecipes.com also has a fun section for Vday treats.
     For children at home, I've seen a lot of buzz about holidays sensory baths or sinks. Children love to play in water, so adding fun red and pink objects, hearts, glitter, cups, etc. to their bath or in the sink to play with is like a taste of heaven. Abcteach.com has printable worksheets, games, and puzzles that could be fun inside children's Vday cards or even fun to pass out in the office.  Just go to the site and click on directory and then holidays/seasonal. www.notimeforflashcards.com has a couple fun, natural activities which will feed your belly and the birds. It's also suitable for preschool aged children.
      If you would like to treat the family to a yummy breakfast, here is a recipe I found at tasteofhome.com (which I fully intend on trying) for red velvet pancakes. I suggest visiting the site for more yummy ideas. Whatever you decide to do, enjoy the day and spread the love! Leave comments if you have a fun project or a delicious recipe you would like to share!

Ingredients

• 10 cups all-purpose flour

• 
  
  

  1-1/4 cups sugar

  
  

• 2/3 cup baking cocoa

• 6 teaspoons baking soda

• 4 teaspoons baking powder

• 5 teaspoons salt

• ADDITIONAL INGREDIENTS (for each batch):

• 2 cups buttermilk

• 2 eggs

• 2 tablespoons red food coloring

• Butter and maple syrup

Directions

1. In a large bowl, combine the first six ingredients. Place 2 cups in each of five resealable plastic bags or containers. Store in a cool dry place for up to 6 months. Yield: 5 batches (10 cups mix)
2. To prepare pancakes: Pour mix into a large bowl. In a small bowl, whisk the buttermilk, eggs and food coloring. Stir into dry ingredients just until moistened
3. Pour batter by 1/4 cupfuls onto a greased hot griddle; turn when bubbles form on top. Cook until the second side is golden brown. Serve with butter and syrup. Yield: 16 pancakes per batch.

Originally published as Red Velvet Pancakes in Taste of Home Christmas Annual Annual 2012, p174

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Charities

     It has been said that the best cure for depression is helping others. It's true that you get a feeling of fulfillment when you help a fellow human in need - however brief. It's as easy as opening a door for a mom with her hands full or picking up a fallen object for the person in front of you at the check-out counter. These are actions that you willingly take because you want to make someone else's life just a little easier. But what about those of us who want to do just a little bit more?
     There are a lot of options out there for people who want to invest their time helping. There are tons of volunteer actions to take such as: helping out at a local shelter, volunteering at your public library, helping at animal shelters, building homes with  Habitat for Humanity, and cleaning the highways. Churches are a great place to start looking. They almost always have a program you can join to help humanity in one form or another. It's also so helpful to donate your blood. You do have limits to donating, but it can help save someone's life if you have healthy blood to give. These are all great options for helping locally without spending your money. But what if it is money you want to donate? Or what if you want to help across seas?
     Again, if you want to use your hands to help in another country, a great place to start is at a local church. Many churches have missionaries who go to other countries and help rebuild or preach. If you like the idea but can't or don't want to make the trip, you can sponsor the missionaries so they can buy their supplies, food, etc.
     When you begin talking about money contributions, it gets a little trickier. It is very difficult to tell the real from the scam. You probably receive mail asking for your donations and receive calls from telemarketers asking if they can count on you, but how do you know who you can trust? And you want to help every cause, but you can't afford to donate to every cause. I would suggest picking one or two charities or causes and making those your core contributions for the year. It's nice to donate small amounts here and there but don't go overboard trying to help everyone. You have to eat too! It's ok to kindly say, "no, I'm sorry." As far as accountability, check into charities before donating. How much of each dollar you give goes to your cause? How does it get spent? How long has the charity been in business? Do they send tax information at the end of the year? You can even check with the BBB to see if they have any complaints filed and see how the charity responded to the complaints. Always be cautious. There are people who capitalize on others' kind hearts.
     If you still aren't sure which charities are trustworthy or you just don't know where to help, there is a great charity you can donate to online or through the mail called Compassion. Your donations will go towards helping a child in another country go to school, get medical care, learn about nutrition, have a meal, spend time at a church, play sports, and hear the ministry. It is a Christian charity. On the website they break down exactly how your donation is spent. You get to pick the country the child is from and which child to sponsor. You will be the only sponsor for that child and you will receive letters and pictures from the child at least twice a year.
     Justgive.org is a good place to start too. You can make a one time donation or a monthly contribution to charities of your choice. You can even give a donation in someone's name. You can donate to disaster reliefs and other urgent causes around the world or here at home. This is a good website to visit if you're new to donating.
     An even easier way to help out is to go through your closet, attic, basement, or garage and give away all the things you just don't need and never use. Use the one year rule - if you haven't worn it in one year, chances are you aren't going to wear it again. Take them to local clothing banks, churches, or The Salvation Army.
     Good luck in your giving. Whether it is time or money, what you do for others does make a difference ... even if it's just a pair of socks or an old t-shirt. Leave comments if you have a favorite charity or cause you like to give to.



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